It's no secret that spring and summer are the more lascivious seasons of the fashion year. Bluntly put, it's time to hooch it up. Pack up the wool coats and sweater sets and pull out the halter tops and short-shorts. It's all good. Or is it?
There's one article of clothing that I'm not sure is passable even in this casual climate. You see them all year round, but they become particularly prevalent as temperatures rise and fashion inhibitions lower. We're talking about pants...pants with writing on the butt. Sassy, yes. A fashion risk? Definitely.
To establish my credibility (or lack of it, depending on how you look at it) on this issue, I will confess to owning two pairs of said pants. Although both are extremely comfortable and, I admit, quite sassy, I adhere to a strict protocol when it comes to their display. Call me neo-Victorian (you'd be the first to do so), but I've always maintained that you can't just walk around anywhere wearing pants that shout "Hey, look at my ass!" (just like you can't just shout "Hey, look at my ass!" anywhere; there's rules about that too--we'll save those for another time). I believe the wearing of these pants is sanctioned in the following locations: grocery store, gas station, laundromat, McDonald's, Target, video stores and neighbourhoods where you don't live. On the other hand, for reasons of taste and safety, these pants should not be donned under any circumstances in the following locations: work, libraries, schools, government buildings, police stations, courthouses, airports, bus depots, subway stations, restaurants where your food doesn't come on plastic trays and movie theaters.
Two other issues to consider beyond appropriate locations for wearing words on your butt are: 1) whether men can or should do so and 2) are some words just inappropriate to wear on your butt? The answers:
1) No. Just...no.
2) Yes. Example: Thanks to Roots, you can wear "Canada" on your butt. Our nation's founders did not sit through 100-odd years of passive-aggressive subordinance to the British just so women could have this country's name plastered on their booties (or did they? Come to think of it, the fathers of Confederation probably would have been all over this idea)
Despite all the caveats involved, I will indeed be incorporating my letter-butt pants into my casual spring and summer wardrobe again this year. In fact, I may even buy a new pair. So long as one is aware of the risks involved, I think they can indeed be pulled off (pardon the pun) with happy results. At least, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
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4 comments:
You've left us all hanging. What do your pants with writing on the butt say exactly?
I'm going to guess "U of T" and "Roots".
Yes, it's true. The first pair of these controversial pants that I purchased have my alma mater plastered on the butt. It seemed like a cool idea when I was in my first semester of undergrad. I now save them for grocery shopping in Stouffville. My favourite pair--now getting a bit worn out, I'm afraid, are pink "Roots" pants. They are suspiciously sorority gal-esque; my saving grace is that I do not (and will never) own a pair of Uggs boots to wear them with. I have to admit, if a pair of Tri-Delt track pants happened to cross my path, I would have a hard time passing them up. My butt has a strong penchance for irony.
Very university/sporty spice. Unless you're 19 or younger, I'd only wear them around the house....then again if you have a sexy ass in them, no guy is going to complain ; )
Good call on the Uggs.
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