There is a lot of anger out there in the world, but little did I know until today how much of that anger can be attributed to the hordes of James Bond fans who are getting ready to boycott Casino Royale because of how un-Bondworthy they believe Daniel Craig (the new Bond) to be. An entire movement is mobilizing against the poor bloke on www.craignotbond.com. Sample withering criticisms include:
"the bottom of the barrel"
"skinny, craggy and wholly unimpressive" (craggy Craig! Sorry, it had to be done)
"extraordinarily less handsome and charismatic than any one of the men who played Bond"
And...
"a round 0 out of 10, a number that surely matches his moon-faced countenance!"
Ouch. Not since the debut of America's Next Top Model has such a sweltering blow been dealt to the age-old happy-fuzzy axiom "It's what's on the inside that counts." Apparently Bond is in the eye of the beholder. If the anti-Craig movement wins the day and forces Eon/MGM/Sony to re-open the casting call for the next instalment in the series, I believe they should look no further than Colin Farrell to re-vamp Bond for the next decade of the new millenium. Farrell shares many qualities with the current International Bond Standard (IBS), that being Sean Connery (no arguments accepted, challenges may be forwarded to the International Bond Tribunal in the Hague): both speak with sexy brogues, both are tall, dark and handsome, and both definitely have a way with the ladies. Farrell's casting would necessitate that a few small changes be made to the classic Bond persona: the vodka martini, shaken not stirred would be replaced by pints of Guinness, 007's suave, sophisticated Bondspeak would be infused with copious profanity, and he may become embroiled in more than a few pesky sex tape scandals. But having Farrell as the new Bond would re-vitalize the screen hero's image and perhaps do worlds of good for Anglo-Irish relations. And, I have no doubt, should the Bond fanatics behind the current backlash against Daniel Craig decide to attack Farrell, they would likely get as good as they gave, and then some. So there's my vote for who the new Bond should be. In the meantime, can someone give this Daniel Craig guy a hug? He has feelings too. After all, it's not easy being Bond...
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2 comments:
See, to me, Bond is a long dead vestige of the British coolness that went the way of Roger Moore and the Sex Pistols. Is MI6 really all that enticing anymore? Bond died for me even before the character was killed off in the opening scene of XXX - why does anyone even care about this anymore?
I'm not going to judge till I see him in action. People seem to have an issue cause he has blonde hair. Please.... Roger Moore had brown hair, and no one made a stink about it. I think he will be good as Bond.
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