The Steamy Side of Staples

I recently heard that Douglas Coupland is writing a new novel about people who work at Staples. When explaining how the idea for the novel evolved, Coupland said that he tried to think of what the most boring place in the world to work would be and he came up with Staples.
Fair enough. But when I was shopping at my local Staples yesterday, I came to the realization that the stationary superstore is not so boring as it may seem. It's all about the writing utensil aisle, specifically the pens. As I perused Staples' copious pen selection, it dawned on me that pens and condoms share nearly identical marketing lingo. For example: the Round Stic Grip, the Soft Feel Stic, the Impulse, the Comfortmate, the Flexgrip Ultra, the Flexgrip Elite, the R.S.V.P., and, last but not least, the Dynagrip. Hot stuff, indeed. Perhaps Coupland could work some risque pen product double entendres into his characters' dialogue? (eg. "So, what do you say you and me stock a few boxes of Flexgrips in the storage room after work?") At any rate, it just goes to show you--with a little vigilance and some creativity, you can find your mind in the gutter anywhere, even in the shiny, seemingly innocuous, flourescent-lit aisles of Staples. Not so boring after all.