T.G.F.E.S. (Thank God For Elvis Stojko)

So far, 2006 has been a banner year for figure skating on television. But now that the Olympics and the Worlds are over, Skating with Celebrities has wrapped, and ABC Family is no longer running The Cutting Edge 2: Going for the Gold on a 24-hour loop (OK, they never did that. It just felt like it because of its utter and complete inferiority to the original...more on that another time) , I figured the skating TV boom had gone bust. Fortunately, the WE network came to rescue, churning out another figure skating-themed "reality" tv competition, Skating's Next Star. Phew. That was a close one. Thanks WE! I now forgive you for all those years of painfully mopey Felicity reruns.

So I've only seen two episodes so far and I'm still unclear on what exactly the contestants are competing for. Perhaps a lead part in the next production of "Dora the Explorer on Ice," or some such equivalent. Unlike Skating with Celebrities, the show does not feature the element of danger that comes from strapping skates onto frighteningly uncoordinated former sitcom/pop stars. But Skating's Next Star makes things hazardous enough for its bright-eyed hopefuls by having them skate on makeshift ice pads the size of your parents' rec room. Watching to see who will fly off the rink is one of the viewing pleasures the show has to offer.

Another bright spot is the tactful, good-humoured presence of former World Champion (and Richmond Hill, Ontario native, I should add--props to the York Region!), Elvis Stojko. On numerous occasions, Elvis saves Skating's Next Star from being too cringeworthy to handle. Exhibit A: One hapless lad accidentally kicked himself in the head or something while performing an ill-fated spin in the first episode. As if this wasn't mortifying enough, when he finished, judges Rudy Galindo and Oksana Grishuk laughed uncontrollably at him. Like, they couldn't regain their composure for at least a minute and a half. The poor dude had to just stand there with the camera on him the whole time. Thank God for Elvis. A true Canadian, he kept a straight face, showed concern, and asked the guy if he was OK (I would say that I hope he gave Rudy and Oksana a talking to afterwards, but that actually wouldn't be a very Canadian thing to do).

Though its production values may be low, its level of overall awkwardness high and its purpose ambiguous, I am going to tune in to at least a couple more episodes of Skating's Next Star. Maybe it's out of my sentimental Stojko attachment, or my fear that another figure skating show might not be in the works to follow it up. I can only hope that some tv executives somewhere are going to try and develop a "reality" gymnastics show along the same lines. Because every loves to see athletes get a second chance, especially when its a reeeal long shot (ie. in sports where they would usually be gathering dust by the age of 19). What's Mary Lou Retton doing these days, anyway? Oooh, and Mitch Gaylord! It'd be great! Someone tell the WE people! Anything to keep those Felicity reruns at bay.