Mama, I'm Coming Home

(Actually, I've been home for over a week, but I just wanted to get a little Ozzy in there)

Yes, it's true--after five years living in the U.S., I have returned home to Toronto, the best city in the world. And I could not be happier, especially with all the traditional Torontonian activities I've been up to lately: biking to the Beaches, window shopping in Yorkville, going to the Ex, and walking down Yonge Street (which I will be doing much less of once the nostalgia wears off).

Sadly, the Ex was a bit of a disappointment, much like it was the last time I went eight years ago. I wish I could have seen it back in its heyday, before they tore down the Flyer and the Grandstand and before the Better Living building was converted into a giant casino. My biggest overall complaint was that there wasn't nearly enough livestock. That, and the carnies were too polite and well-groomed. But the Food Building still smelled the same (one whiff gives you your weekly dose of trans fat) and we did get to see a human cannonball, which was pretty awesome.

And while I did not get the TV unpacked in time to watch Canadian Idol this week, I am proud to report that my boy Tyler Lewis is still hanging in there and you can bet I'll be voting next week. Yes indeed, it is good to be back.

That's Hot?

So I heard the new Paris Hilton song the other day. And...I don't hate it.

This is not a good sign.

Vice Patrol

With Miami Vice receiving its big-screen revival this summer, I thought I would take a moment to spotlight an oft-overlooked echelon of the Miami Vice franchise: the fantabulous music careers of Don Johnson and Philip Michael Thomas.

I'll start with P.M.T. (not to be confused with "P.Y.T.", or any other Michael Jackson-penned acronym), whose music, as it happens, is a rare and expensive commodity these days. For example, a copy of his 1988 album Somebody will run you $69.99 on Amazon.com. Perhaps Thomas himself purchased all but two existing copies of the album--that's the only way to explain this phenomenon. Copies of his 1985 breakout album, Living the Book of My Life, are even harder to track down. Apparently he got hold of all of those.

(P.M.T. F.Y.I.: Thomas's pre-Miami Vice screen credits include playing the role of 'Stix' in Sparkle (1976, opposite Irene Cara, I should add) and the role of 'Purvis Mapes' in Mr. Ricco (1975, not to be confused, of course, with Uncle Rico).

Don Johnson fared somewhat better with his musical escapades, as those of you who hold fond memories of his 1986 rockfest Heartbeat will attest. Anyone doubting Johnson's crooner cred need look no further for proof of his success than his duet with Barbra Streisand, "Till I Loved You." You think Streisand duets grow on trees? Nuh-uh. (OK, so they were dating at the time. Streisand flings aren't easy to come by either).

If there's anyone who's not too cheesed out to read any further at this point, might I direct you to this snazzy Don Johnson fan discography. Note the particularly precious tank top/Vans combo he's got going on. 80ss fashion icon, folks. OK, I'm stopping now. I promise.

The "Awww" Factor

As I've been residing stateside since the start of July, it's been a few weeks now since I last saw an episode of Canadian Idol. However, I've been keeping up with the results online and I'm happy to report that my favourite contestant in this year's competition, Tyler Lewis, is still burning it up in the Top 9.

Why do I think this kid should be the next Canadian Idol? First of all, he can sing. But more importantly, it's all about the "Awww" factor. Just check out these snippets from Tyler's brief bio on Idol's website and you'll see what I mean:

-He's 20 years old (Awww!)
-He's from Saskatchewan (Awww!)
-He would love to have the chance to see Bon Jovi or Guns 'n' Roses in concert (Awww! I guess that's pretty rare in rural Saskatchewan)
-His dream is to have a career like Bryan Adams (Awww!)
-He's a huge fan of both steak and potatoes and his belt buckle that sports a beer bottle opener (Awww! Cute and practical!)
-The song that best describes him? "Small Town, Big Dreams" (Awww!)

Plus, as I recall from the first episode on which Tyler appeared, he plays hockey and he can drive a tractor (Awww! and Awww!). If that's not a red-blooded Canadian boy, I don't know what is.

I realize that the "Awww" factor is not nearly as potent for the guys in the Canadian Idol audience (assuming there are any) as it is for the gals. However, if Don Cherry was a fan of the show (and hey, anything's possible), I'm certain he'd back Tyler all the way. This kid is the Dougie Gilmour of Idol crooning.

So my fellow countrymen and women, I exhort you to cast your votes for Tyler Lewis. It will put a feeling of gladness in your heart and you'll be doing Canada proud by selecting a talented Idol for its citizens. Plus, he's really really cute. Did I mention that already?